Brené Brown 研究人際關係——我們同理、歸屬和愛的能力。 在一次辛酸、有趣的演講中，她分享了她研究中的深刻見解，這讓她開始了個人追求，既要了解自己，又要了解人性。
Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.
這些人有什麼共同點？ 我對辦公用品有點龜毛 但這是另一個故事了 我拿了個分類文件夾、一隻簽字筆 我就想，這研究要怎麼稱呼? 我想到的第一個字就是 全心全意 這些都是全心付出的人，以強烈價值感活著 所以我在資料夾上這樣寫 並開始看我所找到的資料 事實上 我所做的是 前四天都密集研究資料 回到最初的訪問、故事、事件 主題是什麼？模式是什麼？ 我老公帶孩子出遠門 因為我整個廢寢忘食 我狂寫資料 進入我"研究員模式" 我的研究結果是這樣的 他們共有的 是勇氣(courage) 我想簡單解釋勇氣(courage)與勇敢(bravery)的不同 勇氣最初的定義 最早變成英語的時候 是拉丁字源cor，表示"心(heart)" 而它最初的定義 就是全心全意講述關於你自己的故事 所以這些人 有著承認不完美 的勇氣 他們有同情心 對自己好之後對別人好 因為，後來發現，你要對別人有同情心 就一定要先對自己好 最後，他們都有著連結 這是困難的部份 就是"真實性"的結果 他們願意放下他們想成為的自己 為了做真正的自己 而為了與人連結 就必須這麼做
What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? And the first words that came to my mind were "whole-hearted." These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness. So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data. In fact, I did it first in a four-day, very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled the interviews, the stories, pulled the incidents. What's the theme? What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode.
And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart" -- and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.
他們的另一個共通點 是這個 他們坦蕩的接受脆弱 他們相信 讓他們脆弱的 會讓他們美麗 他們並不是說脆弱 是很自在的事 也不是很痛心的事 從我早期"羞恥"訪問中發現的 他們認為脆弱是必須的 他們談到願意先說 「我愛你」 願意 去做那些 不保證美好的事 願意 在乳房X光檢查後深呼吸 等待醫生回電 願意投入一場戀愛 不論結果好不好 他們認為這是很基本的
The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first ... the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees ... the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.